How a Therapist Can Help People Navigate Grief

Pain, loss, and associated feelings of grief are all a part of life. But in many cases, grief can be particularly crippling, leaving sufferers unsure of how to go on.

Unlike the thing that precipitated it, grief isn’t an event, but a journey. There is no such thing as a “normal” grieving process. Instead, the most helpful way to measure its severity is determining whether or not it is impacting a person’s functioning, and whether or not they feel supported by those around them.

Studies suggest more than a quarter of people are afflicted with severe grief following the loss of a loved one, which is defined as intense emotional suffering that results in significant impairment in daily life. 

Therapeutic support can play a huge role in navigating grief when it feels overwhelming. Everyone’s experience differs, but there are a few commonalities to the grief process, as well as common reasons why it can be beneficial to get professional help.

Triggers and reactions to grief

Research and commentary about grief frequently centers around personal loss through death. After all, most Americans have experienced this several times in their lives. 

But death is only one trigger of grief. Losing a job, enduring a romantic or friendship breakup, or natural disasters can all create grief-like states. Even life transitions–like the feelings a parent struggles with after a child goes off to college–can do the same.

Grief may manifest itself in a number of ways, from sadness and depression to irritability, anger, denial, or numbness. Many times, people show all of these reactions and more during different stages of the grief experience. Others show different reactions entirely.

Why seeking out therapeutic resources can help

Grief often leaves people speechless as they try to pick up the broken pieces. Even if they want to talk to others around them, they may have no idea where to start. 

A study done by New York Life found that for 57% of people who had lost a loved one, the support they received from the people around them started to decrease after just a few months. 54% of people who were bereaved by the loss of a parent as children said they did not know where to find grief resources, and a similar number of those people grappled with misconceptions that they were fine on the inside as long as they appeared “okay” on the outside. 

Sometimes, even when their families, friends, or coworkers are well-meaning, people may say or do counterproductive things. “It gets better,” or “It’s best to try to move on” are things they may say when it’s hard to know how to respond to the grief experience from the outside.

Therapeutic resources do not have these pressures. Whether it’s one-to-one therapy or a support group, there is never a need to have a script or prepared remarks, or worry about having people say the wrong thing. Professionals will know how to ask questions that move the conversation along at a comfortable and safe pace. Grief is as individual as a person’s fingerprints, and clinicians know how to respect and make space for that. 

The bottom line: Pinpointing a therapist that specializes in grief or loss is a good starting point, and we have a few in our directory who may be able to help. For people who are not ready to seek one-on-one counseling, trusted alternatives include resources like Roberta’s House grief support center in Baltimore. Whenever things begin to feel overwhelming is the right time to reach out.

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Written by James Benjamin, Communications and Social Media Associate at The Mental Health Emergency Fund, Inc.

Check out his work at www.james-benjamin.com