Be Your Own Top 30 Under 30
*editors note: I got nominated as a Forty under 40 award recipient at my alma mater the same year I wrote this piece!
I’ve always been ambitious. I was Valedictorian of my middle school class (if such a thing exists), Salutatorian of my high school class and a double-major honors student in college, graduating magna cum laude.
When I graduated from college, my focus turned outward — outside of myself toward others — as I took an unpaid internship at a church in New York City. This laid the foundation for a career within nonprofit and mission-focused organizations.
I am currently a business counselor at the Women’s Business Center of Northern Virginia, where I have the privilege of nurturing the dreams of some of the world’s next multi-millionaires. I sit with clients one-on-one and teach classes in order to equip them with the knowledge that they need to be successful. Most of the time it’s helping them find the self-confidence to go after what’s already inside of them.
Outside of my 9–5, I am a small group leader at my church (among many other things). This is one of the most rewarding responsibilities I’ve ever had: the opportunity to build faith-centered community within the comfort of my living room.
Although work consumes most of our lives as young adults, that’s rarely a topic of conversation during our meetings. Instead, we talk about our families. Our dreams. Our fears. Our mistakes.
Whether it’s with building a business or navigating the ups and downs of life, so many people don’t have a safe space to go to. They don’t have a place to release.
I am that place.
Does it get difficult balancing everyone’s lives in addition to mine? Absolutely.
But the great thing is that I have my support systems, too. I don’t pour from an empty well.
I call my parents. I call my mentors. I go to therapy. I journal. I pray.
More than anyone, I need to make sure I check in with my accountability team because Superwoman Syndrome is all too real. The temptation is to continue to push myself so I can land on Forbes’ “Top 30 Under 30” list.
Remember how I told you I was ambitious? Yeah. It’s a thing.
One of my friends recently told me I was his most active LinkedIn connection. I couldn’t help but laugh!
I don’t doubt that at all.
Truthfully, sometimes it’s a fight for me to stay still and rest.
So here’s some advice for all of those ambitious, type-A, superwomen out there:
Embrace Yourself
You were created to be unique! Don’t try to be anyone other than yourself. Nobody can compare to the talents, insight, personality and determination that you have. The right connections will materialize. You don’t have to change the way you speak, dress or socialize in order to get to where you’re trying to go.
I love wearing my natural hair and stylish outfits. Happy hours aren’t my scene and I have new connections every week. I don’t even drink coffee! Ha!
2. Pace Yourself
Take your time! Life is not a sprint. You won’t be effective in your work if you are burnt out. Trust me; I’ve been there. This is a hard one to swallow because all throughout school, we’re right in step with our peers. Then when we graduate college, everyone gets into their own rhythm. You don’t have to go to graduate school right away or at all! You don’t have to get a promotion within the first 2 years. Breathe.
Not many people know this but I deferred my admission into graduate school this year. I was all set to go, but I started to feel extremely anxious. I decided to listen to myself and let go of the pressure to be back in school. And if next year comes around and I’m still not ready, then I’m not ready. Simple as that.
3. Forgive Yourself
You will inevitably disappoint yourself some way, somehow. Maybe you missed a deadline. Maybe you accidentally offended someone. Maybe you quit too soon. Maybe you took a bad offer. Forgive yourself, shake it off and move on. There’s no use in dwelling on the past. It blocks you from moving forward and seeing the light that the future holds.
I find that I have to forgive myself for all of the above-mentioned things. Pushing myself too hard. Rushing myself. Trying to keep up with everyone else. I can be extremely hard on myself. I need lots of grace.
4. Celebrate Yourself
Because you’re a superwoman like myself, chances are, you don’t celebrate yourself enough. Treat yourself to a movie, a massage, a vacation. Don’t wait for the world or your employer to reward you because they might not ever do so. Stop looking for external validation and be enough for yourself. You are worthy of every good thing this world has to offer.
I’ve learned that the more I continue to serve other people and walk in my purpose cheerfully, opportunities will find me. I don’t have to shout my credentials from the rooftop. Humility is always the best way up.
Be your own Top 30 under 30! (Or for whatever decade suits you!)
Enjoy the ride!
